Thank You, Mom

Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Confusion. These are the emotions that most people feel throughout different times in their life, only I felt them all at once the morning my mom kicked me out of her house at the age of twelve. I, myself, could never answer the question about why she was ever so jealous to the point where she felt she had to leave me in the dust, but that question will always remain a mystery in my head. If she could have only felt the hurt and discomfort I felt, maybe she would have not been so harsh. But at some point though, I had to stop asking myself, “what if” and move on with resilience from the situation.

As I walked slowly out of the house and down the street to my dad’s house for comfort, the only question I had to ask myself at such a young age was, “What was going to happen next?” I realized that at twelve years old, nothing was really in my hands unless I had control over it, but in this situation, I felt powerless. From battling from the start with a heart condition and an unusual living situation, there's only so much a little girl like me could have done.

Unfortunately, from that day forward, I had to learn how to cope everyday without a mother figure by my side to teach me all the things little girls go to their moms for. Just learning how to do things on my own was my best strength in moving forward. Mothers are supposed to be someone that every girl looks up to as their role model, but somehow, I ended up being different. Different in the fact that I had moved to Rhode Island from Florida the same year with my father, without even the slightest good-bye from my mother. I suppose part of me was hoping for a goodbye, but, I did not look back. And still to this day my living situation is different from the preconceived norm, but I suppose it's just all part of my story. However, I took this catastrophic event  as a lesson learned, in a way that I matured faster, learned how to take care of myself, and did things on my own rather than anything being handed to me. I started to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for just that one single morning that changed my life. That's when I realized that I wanted to be a child psychologist and make an impact on children's lives by being their advocate and a person with background knowledge and experience that can help them survive. From that point on, I knew internally that I wanted to work with children who are in similar situations to the one I was placed in when I was younger.

Ironically enough, I would like to thank my mother, for teaching me a very important lesson in this ever-changing world, about how to move on and how to cope without her guidance, despite the fractured relationship forever. If it wasn’t for you, Mom, I would be a different person from who I am today and, truth be told, I could not see myself  being any different than now, so thank you.