That Feeling of a LAST TEXT

They look at me for just a second, And somehow assume an identity but that’s not me. Too loud. Too quiet. Too lazy. Too much. Never quite enough for anybody. Every room feels like a test. Every conversation has a right and wrong answer. I measure every word I speak, Afraid one mistake Will be the only thing People remember. They tell me, "You're old enough to know better." But what is "better" is supposed to look like. Everyone expects A different version of me. Smile more. Talk less. Get better grades. Don't be so sensitive. Be confident. Be humble. How am I supposed to do everything? Play every single role But this wasn’t how I always felt My phone lit up everyday for a whole year Messages and conversations I never want to forget I reply. I laugh. I keep the conversation going. That one person That I thought would always understand me. Somewhere between friendship and something more, But now I may never see the nickname I gave them send me “Hey, what are you doing?” No more random messages About nothing, Yet somehow it felt like, Everything. I never thought Silence could weigh so much. Now I’m bored all the time My phone still lights up, But not from the person I want it to be and maybe That's what makes me feel empty. Wondering if they or anybody ever cared Now every glance feels like a judgment. It’s exhausting. Every night I replay every text I sent, every word I've said Did I talk too much? Did I sound weird? Were they laughing with me, Or at me? Maybe nobody remembers, But that’s what keeps me awake. Maybe I'll never please everyone. Maybe I was never supposed to. Maybe I'll never have All the answers. Maybe not everyone Can text everyday. But I can't spend forever Waiting for messages That will never come. Maybe one day, The silence Won't feel so loud. Maybe one day, I'll stop waiting for a conversation That already had its last message. Maybe…Just maybe.