Thaw

I never would have guessed,

that facing my feelings would be so hard.

Every time I try,

my ego and shame would bombard me. 

Maybe feeling numb is better,

so I actively avoid these thoughts.

You know, the ones that make you feel ashamed,

and keep getting louder, and they never stop.

Years have gone by, and here I assumed that that was the end of it.

But now and again, I hear a nice poem or song with a dope limerick.

The feeling of being free to express your emotions is like that of a dream to me,

I'm frozen in time in my mind, stilling emotions that might get the best of me.

But I get a hope, a thought, a glimmer of light, that maybe one day I could,

Be someone who can be open and zen with my demons like an extrovert should.

So now it begins, the battle between what is safe and what is desired.

Should I thaw and be true to myself, or should I be frozen in comfort until I expire.

- J.C.