The Fourth Deadly Sin

I stare at them, my enemy;

I stare at him, my enemy.

The greatest foe, his heart of woe;

The harshest heart of sloth a show.

My friends, my hearts, my teachers be

My long-awaited saddened me.

I see my face through their sadness.

I see my sadness through their faces.

Disappointed in my great sloth,

Disappointed in what I wrought.

I wish I beat my harshest rest,

I wish I beat my fervent best.

Drowning in green-eyed jealousy,

Drowning in blue-eyed harmony

Keeping in my greed to amend.

Keeping out my need to attend.

Needing attention, needing eyes,

Needing to show my worth, not shy.

Yet all I am could not foresee,

Yet then my grades fled there from me.

Sloth reigned in and held in pen,

Sloth held in and reigned a sin.

Taking from me my accolade.

Taking from me and giving pain.

Resistance for a heart anew.

Resistance for the heart I knew.

I knew I had to take my fame.

I knew I had to stake my claim.

Yet who was I to rake such rain,

Yet then when I could hardly fain

My grades, my friends, my hands so clean,

My agonizing lazy spring.

I ought not cry to wretched quills,

I ought not try to bend my will,

For who am I to fake a game?

For when am I to make me sane?

Now's the time, my time to plunder;

Now's the time, my heart asunder.

Not to please them with my right best.

Not to please them with the sad rest.

I aim to please just one alone.

I aim to please my heart so cold,

For who will give me what I seek?

For I am mine, not mine to keep.

I work to my drum-pace, I set,

I ride, I play to the sound bet.

Bets all-in to face great fortune,

Bets called in to hear the re-tune

Of my heart dead-set on the prize;

Of headed strides toward mine sublime.

Set to seek it when I falter,

Set to reach it when I conquer

That sloth of mine which I attack;

That sloth of mine which holds me back

From

Accolades poured out upon them,

Accolades roared out around them;

Clouds of honor, the crowds a horde;

Clouds of crowds who took my reward.

My greatest wish to earn my place.

My greatest wish to see my face

Upon hard-working mountain, see

Upon the mountain working me.