The Last Alter Stand'n

I'm feeling depressed, fearful, & I have no real purpose to Live My Life..... Not without the rest of Us BEing here..... with~in Me. This is leaving Me confused, angry, & very anti-social. I want to feel better but I don't know how, when I'm disoriented by it. Because I'm without the other Alters here. It was Their moral compasses that gave Me a sense of direction. And what is now a vastness I feel inside. One of an emptiness that I never knew could exist. I'm tired of crying. My head hurts from a keen sense of a sudden body, that is devoid of all My Lights, & emptied of all My Souls. I don't know what to do with Me anymore, since I have become an antithetical stranger to Myself. It's so dark & cold inside this vessel that contains only Me now. I have no will to do anything at all, not without the rest of US. I Am polarized in a situation that has Me suspended in a time, that is both slow & fleet'n Me. These days are paralyzing Me with agony. I wish to pierce this numbness, just to know that I'm still here. I'll do anything to make it all stop, maybe then I could feel ALIVE. I feel so far away from Me yet so closed off, & it's because I couldn't be any closer to Me than I already Am. This isiolation has Me left sitting here, aware of an excruciating loneliness I've never known. Which is why I'm not mistaken that I'm here, harrowing in a Life not Mine. The only thing that I could think would make Me feel any comfort is being in a straight jacket. Because at 4'O'clock this morning, I smelled the Others in My olfactory. And that broke Me some more... since They're nowhere to be found. I never knew I'd find out what Their scent would smell like, making it different than Mine. This revelation makes Me burst out into tears. I have no idea where the smell even came from, much less understand how I can recognize that it's not My body oder anymore. I realize I'm living My biggest fear in daymares. I have no power to stop these sensations. I'm fully awake & can do nothing to get out of a reality that I've never dreamed could happen to Me.... ever I don't have it in Me to kill Me. But neither do I have it in Me to want to go on Living. I have never wanted to Live just as much as I wanted to die, and that's only in case I can feel US Together again. My grief stricken face hurts all over. I feel blistered & swollen from cheeks so raw by constant swiping of the tears away. I hurt so much now I couldn't cry. Now I'm all dried up, I'm shriveled with an illness that I have no remedy to. I Am sick to My core from BEing lost of Ourselves, what Am I to do? Now that all My Alters have gone? When I'm still here. There's nothing I can do about it but be right where I Am..... Just barely breathing because I can't hold My breath forever. So eternally I wait on My other behalves, to hopefully become WHOLE once again.