the most poetic breakup you'll ever see

I can see it clearly March 13th I found confidence gave you my number the kid who appeared to be just like me you never knew that night I was screaming in the bathroom "I think she likes me!" "I got her number" I was texting trying to be so cool just a casual friendship lots of texting mom isn't a fan she said something about a 90 day rule about Rose colored glasses I thought she was full of it April 16th got a note from you basically saying "hey you're pretty, I really like you, be mine" slapped in a girl in red song hey I got a girl ok fine the same day somehow somebody told mom how I felt probably read my messages again being found out is not fun I apologized I explained how I tried not to she said its ok I'm too young for labels, no dating until I can drive, blah blah blah I forgot how much I can cry and why was I apologizing shes the one who gave birth to the homosexual and she wasn't mad about it I said nah she doesn't like me back i know damn well you did after that I was in this secret world we messaged after school, after dinner into late hours each night a "buonanotte ti amo, cara" a goodnight to you too ideas of matching rings? moving to Finland? the wedding? hey, didn't you literally just become a teen which I know is yes since March 24th I gave you your birthday mix CD and hey remember the other night, where I totally mentally dominated you? the sad part is, I wanted more of those I'm hormonal sometimes I forget how much a difference one year is I'm not in middle school anymore I don't want a middle school relationship I'm sorry and maybe this isn't a good idea maybe in highschool I don't wanna be the loser gay obsessed with their middle school girlfriend maybe I want casual dates, hookups, homoerotic friendships, great "best friends" on the lacrosse team and it isn't a status thing, this is for both of us you can't hold on to me forever next year you're on your own in the end, this was meant to be temporary even if it's quite funny that we both vacationed to Savannah, the same spot in Georgia same time only time I've met your family, and back when mine was ok with you, surprised that happened at all it felt like fate at the time but I think the world is just that small so fine mom was right those rose colored glasses were a thing its been 90 days I see the reality colored light the chemistry we have I dont feel it I feel closer with all my friends I think we rushed it shoulda built a better friendship I need to laugh, to be freaky I'm not one for cheesy romantic things it gets old after some time every "ti amo" felt like a lie not love, but infatuation, it was there's not really much to say knowing someone loves you wants a life with you but the thing is we're so young first loves aren't meant to be the last and there's someone right for you you'll find them some day and I'm sorry it isn't me it just wasn't meant to be and so I'm ending things here with the first thing we bonded over my chemical romance I'll always think of you eating taquitos when I hear "I wanna be your girlfriend" the day I go to Savannah again and I'll thank you for all you taught me hey, I found the guts to say "I don't love you, like I did, yesterday"