The Stageless Actor

Nobody looks at me but everyone stares They all talk to me but nobody cares The weight I feel when I walk through the door I don't want to feel the pain anymore I put on a mask whenever they talk If I need a break I go for a walk I am the great actor who needs no stage I start every day as an empty page Nobody knows who I really am But if I don't know then nobody can I want to be kind but anger takes over I hope to learn control when I am older And in those moments when I am mad I scare myself and make people sad They say be yourself but that isn't true They tell you they care but never really do Words will never express how it is tough That who I am will never be enough So I lay in bed crying myself to sleep Knowing nobody will ever hear a peep In my head the thoughts are racing Walking about my room I never stop pacing Because I deserve every harsh word they say Nobody knows because I tell them i'm OK I tell myself that "they had it worse" but really my life feels like a curse I am a wall only halfway built But every day I feel some guilt I feel like a burden though they tell me I'm not I wish they would let me lie down and rot I wait for the day I can sleep forever They think I wanna die but that would be never So when you go to sleep tonight Please know you're not the only one in this same fight