Them

We always do this

Going round and round

Not like it ever changes who we are

What we are

But it doesn’t stop us from hitting the red button

Doesn’t stop the tears from falling

Or the blood from flowing

But while I try to contain myself

And keep myself afloat 

She’s out and about

With their other friends

The ones I can’t have

While I’m alone and breaking 

They are surrounded and fine

And then they complain about it all

Say they were fine without me

But say they have it hard… 

I don’t know what to believe

Don’t have time to think about it

Busy trying to just fucking breathe 

I wanna scream but of course that leads me to trouble

Where does it lead her? 

To help. 

Cause while she has people to care

I live in pain of people who don’t get it

But can I leave it? 

No 

Cause then she’d get hurt. 

What do I have for protection? 

The fucking demon in my head 

The one she hates

So while I lay in a bathtub

Just as empty as me

Wanting nothing more than to fill it red

To feel the sting of it on my arms and legs

They are skating around 

Laughing 

And spinning

And singing 

And dancing

I can’t even cry without feeling bad for it

When do I get to escape?