But Then I Grew

Not too long ago

I was sure of what I needed

What would keep me going in life

What would hone me and help pump my blood in the morning

And those days when bed seems like the only option

Yet over time these things  have changed as I have matured

At first I thought it to be wealth

Of course! It had to be wealth

Everyone who's rich couldn't have as many problems as I did 

Life must be so much easier

But then I grew,

And saw that it wasn't the issue of a number being attached to me

So I moved on

Then I thought it to be paper

A small one

On it confirming that I had wasted 4 years of my existence

At a school I didn't care for nor wished to be a part of

So I could sit in a cube

Performing menial tasks

To acquire a middle class check to endow my wife with

And repeat the same process for my entire life

But then I grew,

And I realized that this would strip away at my sanity

Later I gave up

I decided not to make my own drive

But have others give it to me

I thought it to be acceptance

Those with massive personality can get massive love or backlash

But those with no personality get neither

To be neutral, is to be safe

But then I grew,

And I  knew this wasn't me, nor could it be

I couldn't be nothing

I had to be something

And that was it

I now know I need purpose

I will only ever be happy when I accomplish that which I aspire

I've fled from it my whole life

I cannot live at peace unless I am always acomplishing

That which others said no

Said can't be done

That I said can't be done

To live without purpose is to be but a shell

We are the Creator's instruments

All, and we will never be at rest unless we strive for that which we were crafted to do