There is no speech

There is no speech nor langauge where the voice isnt heard but  , how come i feel like im not being heard im so tired of doing this on my own , i know gods here but really it feels like he so far away why cant he send me an angel , Send all this Evil Away is this my curse that ive brought upon myself Tired of being alone. I just start to push everyone away shut my emotions off . I dont even know love anymore God please show me the way Staying to myself ,Is it the best thing for me i really dont know gods plan i just speak what i know and hope somone notices me , im tired of hanging on tired of no love in my life ive been strong for way to damn long thats this wieght starts to crush me , im just a women trying to protect myself from my enemies, earn my wages cause i dont got no help, at night its straight to writing this letters hoping someone misses me but its killing me in so many ways ,I ask God why he didnt give me the love in my life and it hurts i aint mad at em , im just a little sad thats maybe he forgot that something i need so tired running into weak men and tryin to feed em the truth but they cant take the truth, crumble brittle souls whithered from the lack of light they have in there life ,its frieghtning is this what its like to have no love in your life Am i wrong tryn to attract a good man but what can a good guy do for me steppin in my life I can barely handle the weight im around and really im scrared of these street life but its the only way i know how to get ahead , i can never go broke , pushing more wieght tryn to make more bread tryn to cope I aint afriad to eat alone but a women get tired for just cookin for one i eat alone and im fed God please forgive me im not tryn to hurt no one justifying my actions because im scared Never want to go back to the streets father please do you hear me , i cant hear him, Praying again please send somone to rescue me from this street life, tryn to hussle way out of it My boss is on my case , throwing passes at me but i just want to work for my cake and im just a women trying to protect myself from men i feel violeted spiritually is that a sin voilent words slurs from a mouth as i sit there and try to protect myself from this i swear but i just try to justify my actions i swear i just want to live for real and find love