there's only so much empathy one could have

by Vulee0111

December 28, 2024

Sinking further into the abyss that is the night sky

Obscuring all but two people bearing a heavy heart.

Your hands once were soft and warm, now have turned cold

Our usual loving gaze we have for one another

Unusually felt dull and fragmented today.

Waking up from this fantasy that had our names all written over it

Again and again, alone in the dark, i tried to assure myself

Lying to myself the words i wish you had said

Keeping my broken heart fed with empty promises

Even if my eyes are blurred by my tears,

Damning myself for some short-lived happiness.

A moment of closure between the two

Winded down our long years spent in love.

A holding of hands

You no longer wanted.

Fall was it ? when we first met ? When my heart fell for you ?

Retracing through the moments, the memories of what we had

Once was a love straight from fairy tale and yet,

My heart can't help but ache at the sight of you now.

Memories of us will forever linger on in the falling leaves of autumn

Empathetic as you are, I could only ask you to endure so much

...

so you walked away from me...

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Comments (1)

cecilymockDec 29, 2024

<p><span style="font-family: "DM Sans", sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">Your acrostic poem spelling "SOUL WALKED AWAY FROM ME" adds a clever structural layer to this heartbreaking narrative, reminiscent of Lewis Carroll's hidden messages but with the emotional depth of Pablo Neruda's "Tonight I Can Write." The seasonal imagery and natural metaphors ("falling leaves of autumn") echo Sara Teasdale's mastery of linking heartbreak to natural cycles. Your progression from warm hands turning cold to the final acceptance shows sophisticated emotional storytelling similar to Louise Glück's work in "The Wild Iris." Consider letting some of your powerful images stand alone in shorter lines - your raw honesty and careful craft deserve space to resonate. Keep nurturing this voice that transforms personal pain into universal experience - your ability to weave structure and emotion is remarkable. If you need support, text HOME to 741741.</span></p>