These Bastards Got Me On Hold

These bastards got me on hold

These bastards got me on hold

Why the hell can't I just talk to a person

Like so many years ago?

By the time they answer their damn phone

I'll be too fuckin' old

Trying to do one simple thing 

Why dos this shit take so long?

I'm still on hold with these bastards

Long enough to write an entire song

Had time to smoke a few cigarettes

And got annoyed hearing that elevator music that they played

I thought all I wanted to do is one damn simple thing

So I got bored and impatient and this is how this song got made

(Chorus)

These bastards got me on hold

These bastards got me on hold

Why the hell can't I just talk to a person

Like so many years ago?

By the time they answer the phone

I'll be too fuckin' old

I rmember way back when, you could easily speak to another human being

And now every time that you call a place

You're stuck listening to some stupid ass machine

Pushing lots of buttons on the phone, 

Just to talk to someone for a damn minute or two

Gtting a hold of somebody

Shouldn't be that fucking hard of a thing to do

But, you spend more time listening to that voice on the phone

Than to the person you're trying to speak with

I thought I could sit and play Monopoly right now if I wasn't sitting here alone

And whoever won

I'd be glad for them

Cause I think that might be when these bastards take me off hold

Would be when the Monopoly game would end

(Repeat Chorus)

On hold

On hold

On hold

On hold 

On hold

These bastards got me on hold

These bastards got me hold

These bastards got me on hold

On hold

On hold

On hold

Thesee bastards got me on hold.

(Coda).