"These Tears I Keep"

In the back of my throat there sits

A lump of coal, of acid, of frozen

tears and I try to swallow them like

medicine and tell myself that they

are making me stronger, those burning tears

this closing throat, these shaking hands

and weary eyes, and I am telling myself

that I am making myself closer to unbreakable

with every time that I swallow the bitter taste

of your name instead of printing it raw

and red in the back of my throat

with a scream.

But the truth is that keeping the tears down

is not making me stronger,

they are not a balm for their invisibility.

They are poison.

And I need to get cut them out.