These Things You Tell Yourself At Midnight

These things you tell yourself at midnight
When you're alone
and those thoughts in your head just won't
shut up.
And all you want is some Goddamn
silence
because you know you'll drive yourself crazy
before the sun comes up.
But it's not like you can stop it
you wouldn't torture yourself for nothing.
It's not like you want to feel this,
all of this, all of everything,
like your being is sensitive to every
word
that has ever been said and is replaying back to you
over and over
etching itself permanently into your mind.
You just want some sleep.
Some rest, some peacefulness where you can
forget,
so for a few precious hours
you don't have to think.
Is that too much to ask?
Must be.
Because you're still awake.

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