They do not understand.

They do not understand. 

It is not a sport for girls they say. I should be playing volleyball in spandex shorts, dancing in tight outfits, or cheering on the sidelines for the football players instead. Didn’t you know that Crossfit is for men and if you lift too much you’ll even start to look like one? They do not see the hard work that is put in every day after school. They do not get why I skip late-night hangouts so I can go to the gym in the morning. They do not listen when I tell them my reasons. They do not understand the excitement of hitting a new personal best nor the feeling of competing. Sometimes I think that they are right and that I should listen. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think that it is time for me to start looking like the other girls at my school. Sometimes I think I am shaped too differently to be considered attractive. Regardless, I drive to the gym. I warm up. I grab the barbell. I chalk up my hands. Coach starts the countdown. Tunnel vision. Go. I go hard. Focus on my breathing and my movement. It starts to hurt. Those thoughts enter my mind again. They only push me to go harder. The lactic acid builds quickly. I ignore it. Just a few more rounds till the finish line. I want to give in to the people’s voices telling me to give it up. But that is not an option. If I stop now, I prove them right. They win, I lose. These empty words fuel my fire. I adjust my grip and hang on until the last rep.  Done. I drop the weight. I drop to the ground and try to find a position that makes my pain go away. No use. I just try to calm my breathing. It is there in those moments as I am lying on the floor, sore and sweaty, that I realize just how capable I am. Just how capable I will always be. And I know. This is what I was made for. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. It crosses my mind that they haven’t experienced times like these. They haven't found their “worth obsessing over” thing. They have yet to discover their own fascinations. 

They do not understand this passion of mine. But how can I expect them to?