They don't know...

by Cali.Rose

April 20, 2021

They don't know what it's like....

They don't know what its like to feel alone,

They don't know what its like to feel small and wish you were grown.

They don't know what its like to feel like you don't matter,

They don't know what its like to feel like your fallin' off the ladder.

They don't know what its like to have suicidal thoughts,

They don't know what its like to wanna cross.

To wanna cross from life to death,

To jus shoot the shot and take your final breath.

Or to wanna take the rope and tie it 'round your neck,

And to wanna end it all today bc you feel like a wreck.

Bc everyone tells you that your not worth it,

Then you write what you feel on paper then burn it.

And you know everything you have you don't deserve it,

So you take every little moment and try to preserve it..

They don't know what its like to wake up in a puddle of sweat,

To sit up and cry and then go back to bed.

Bc you have nightmares and flashbacks that play on repeat inside your head,

They dont know what its like to pray for peace but get anxiety instead.

And in the words of Clayton Jennings, "I tried to evict them but they come back with more,

Anxiety isn't an item you can return at the store."

I feel like all my demons are just standing at my door,

And Every time I answer I just fall to the floor.

I begged God to make them go away,

I talked to my pastors and they told me to pray.

But all of my demons they continue to stay,

I tell them to go leave but they don't obey...

I'm tired of feeling like I'm stuck in this rut,

I need to get out I can feel it in my gut.

I can hear God saying come home my child,

But my demons aren't exactly mild..

I think in the end that's why I feel lost,

I think I need to find my way back to the cross.

Back to my family and back to my heart,

Cuz these choices I've made 'ave torn me apart...

Smoking weed didn't make me happy,

It took away my pain when I felt like I was lacking.

And it's a effects we're only temporary,

But I had the mindset of it was necessary.

My mama helped me and took it away,

Now I have a huge price pay.

I used to feel lost everyday,

Now I see a light that keeps me from going astray.

And that light has come in a form of a savior,

He's helping me correct and change my behavior.

And I need to fix and I'm doing before asking a favor,

But I know that my God will never waver...

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

~ Psalms 27:1

Something wrong with this poem?

Replies are closed for this poem.

Your Poem's Voice

See what makes your poem unique — its voice, energy, themes, and the literary traditions it draws from.

Comments (0)

No comments yet. Be the first to share your thoughts.