They Told Me

They never used to tell me.

When mom hung up the phone,

And tears began to gather in the corners of her eyes. "What's wrong?"

I asked. Nothing. Everything was alright.

She had allergies, that was all.

It was just her allergies, nothing more.

When dad had to work late. "Why?"

I asked. "Do we need more money?" No. No reason.

Daddy's friends just needed help with a project

They were working on, he's just being nice and helping them.

It was his choice. Everything was alright.

When my sister came home trembling,

With bruises on her legs, on her stomach, around her wrists.

She fell. She just tripped and fell.

Everything was alright.

When I tiptoed down the stairs,

Trying to listen in on what the adults were whispering about. 

But they heard me, and stopped talking. "What are you talking about?"

I asked. Nothing. Boring things. Adult things.

Taxes, politics, the news. Nothing I needed to know about.

It didn't matter anyway, because nothing was wrong,

Everything was alright.

This went on for years and years.

Everything was always alright,

Until it wasn't anymore. They told me to sit down,

And that I needed to be brave. I was a big girl now,

And I deserved to know. Well, then they told me.

Papa went to the doctor yesterday,

It wasn't good. He isn't doing very well,

And he isn't going to get better.

That was the first time that not everything was alright. 

That was the first time they told me.

I always wanted to know,

I wanted my questions answered.

I think I may have liked it better

When I didn't know.

When everything was alright,

Before I grew up.