The Thingamajug!

You come home from school Looking all cool And go “whoa Whattya know?” There’s a basket floating in your pool. You catch it in a net and take it inside Open it up and before your eyes Lays a baby, you think Well, it’s definitely something You’ve never seen anything like it in all of your life! You know a boy is a boy unless it’s a girl And a girl is a girl unless it’s a boy And if it is neither Then something is the matter And the baby you’ve got is from out of this world! Now the dilemma is not what to name it But rather, what you can feed it! For it could be allergic to broccoli and green beans Or corn and sweet peas And you need to feed it in order to keep it. Perhaps it’ll like potatoes Or maybe tomatoes But after you feed it And before you decide to keep it You should probably buy it some clothes! What size? What shape? Do pants come with three legs? And a shirt with four arm holes Makes shopping impossible And who carries a hairbrush that’ll straighten out pegs? Now that you’ve fed it and bought it some clothes A bath is the next idea I propose Don’t let it eat the bubbles, they come out of its ears And don’t look away, it might disappear Scrub it down, sideways, up, till no more astro dirt shows. You’re ready for bed now that bath time is through And bedtime is simple, you know what to do! Tuck it in right Wish it goodnight And turn on the monitor in its’ room Now here’s the question I’ve been meaning to ask And either answer means, on your part, quite a task Are you going to keep it? Or try to return it? I mean, heaven knows what’s under its’ mask! Where did it come from? Where is it going? This information is now something you need to be knowing! So as you peruse And try to choose Remember that the window of opportunity is closing! Will you keep it or not? Will you regret your decision? You peek in, scratching your chin and then You cast a glance in its direction And to your surprise, its’ complexion Is now speckled like a guinea hen Your mind is made up and there’s no going back It’s time to return that thing to its’ basket! And send it home To where it comes from One problem, where it comes from is information you lack! So you take it up on the point of your roof And you yell and you holler until with a whoosh Down comes a beam That sucks up the thing And disappears swiftly with a poof It’s gone, it’s gone! Oh bother, it’s gone! You’d sorta come to like it Maybe even love it But now it’s back wherever it came from So you climb down the ladder rungs Sad and lonely, but glad it’s gone You climb into bed Say your prayers, and in your head You can still hear the voice of the thingamajug!