The Things I Wish I Could Say

Dear Nobody, 

It's funny.

In times like this,

I was always sure of my worth,

So positive of what came out of my mouth.

Sometimes living with yourself for this long gets a bit hectic,

But how could I tell anyone

When they only wanted me to be strong?

In high school, I was known as the girl who had her shit together,

Who never needed to ask twice for anything.

Being "inspiring" is hell,

Being a "teacher's pet" is worse.

While being ridiculed, no one thought that

Maybe I was trying to prove to myself 

That maybe,

Just maybe,

I wasn't a void.

Maybe I wasn't the product of years of abuse.

Maybe, after having lost everything, I was still worthy.

Life is like that, I guess.

Trying to prove your worth to yourself, 

In light of everything,

Is a solution no one wants to see.

No one wants the best,

They want the void,

And all that goes with it.