"The Things We Lose Have A Way Of Coming Back To Us In The End"

He was everything to me. He was my best friend.  He was my superman, and he was my shoulder to lean on.  He taught me how to walk and talk; he taught me how to play.  He cherished a special love and adoration for me, before we ever even met.  He knew of course, how I would ultimately change his life.  It would be a struggle, but "she's worth it" he said.  Unfortunately, what I had failed to realize was that we only recieved a certain amount of time to share together. Each day, the sand rushing to the other end of the hour glass, the internal candle burning away.  Why could I not see this decay? Possibly for the fact that I needed "normal" so I begged the question.  "He is okay! He's fine! He's going to get better!" But how wrong I was.  This man sitting here was my best friend, and for a continuing decade, I watched him suffer.  All he wanted was someone to talk to, someone to teach.  I was scared. But why was I so afraid of his fate? Afterall, I watch myself growing closer to that destiny day after day.  He would joke with me; he would almost prepare myself for a day he knew was coming, but I refused to believe it.  He would say, "I've had six blood clots, an aneurysm, a heart attack, and a stroke: I'm immortal!" Then he wold laugh and say, "I'll probably die from something really stupid, like suffocating because I can't stop laughing!" He would also chat with me about his funeral.  He always said that there were to be no tears shed for him, only laughs.  He wasn't vulnerable spiritually, but grew physically weaker.  He caugt gangrene in his feet, so they cut off his toes.  The disease did not stop in his left leg, so they took that as well.  For ten years I have slowly lost the most important man in my life. About twenty minutes before he was due for his surgery to amputate his leg, he was asking about our dog, Oreo.  If that man was ever scared of what was happening to him, he sure did not show it.  He was strong. He was in so much pain, yet he always stayed positive.  He was a living superman. 

He was always a man of irony.  The day he decided to leave us all, three families were away on vacation: one to Punta Cana, one to South Carolina, and one to Italy, plus it was Mother's Day. 

My paramour was there for my family and I everyday after that.  He became the sunshine in my life.  He was my wonderwall, my new best friend, and shoulder to lean on.  And I his. He is my everything, now.  He is Don and I am so grateful for this man.  He cherishes a special love and adoration for me from the day we met. He knew loving me would be a challenge. "She's everything to me. She's worth it" he said. He taught me how to grieve.  He taught me how to cope.  And each day, this man shows me how to live.  For I would not make the same mistake I made with my father.  Our internal candels are melting away, and I will be ready to go when it is time, for thanks to my lover, I know how to live.