The Thorn That Will Never Go Away

Dear the thorn in my side:

You are an ass, you are an idiot, and you are a creep. 

Did you think I wanted to continue dating that?

Did you think I wanted to be in a relationship with someone older?

Did you think I would give you a second chance?

I hope your answers to those questions are no. 

If it's yes, I want you to reevaluate our relationship and what occurred during the now horrible six months of my life. 

I want you to think long and hard. 

If you cannot remember that, I had to lie to people about your age and what grade you were in, I had to suck up with your weird hobby of videotaping girls in theatre and trying to get tapes of me, and I had to deal with you coming over to my house every single day during the summer. 

If this doesn't ring a bell, then your reality is different from mine. 

I had to give you sympathy over a lot of things like family and theatre, and dealt with you whining like a mewling quim. 

That did not mean I wanted that in my life. 

The relationship was find and dandy until that summer when Hell decided to drape over, and knock on my door almost every day. 

I hope you realize you are a creep, and will never get another girlfriend. 

I hope you realize that you cannot hang out with a girl 24/7 because that comes off as being clingy and desperate. 

I hope you realize that you are whiny about everything. 

I hope that Cupid will bite you in the ass in the years to come. 

I hope you realize that nobody will ever love you again. 

And if they do, I want them to rip your heart out the same way that I did. 

And I want them to give you Hell. 

And as for me?

I learned my lesson. 

I learned not to date older people especially if there is an age gap. 

I learned to say now, and how to lie. 

I learned that good people will cause bad relationships in the end. 

But, there was one thing that you did not notice. 

I was burdened with glorious purpose, and nothing could ever change that. 

Sincerely, 

The worst thing that ever happened in your life