Those Thoughts Again

I'm having those thoughts again, the ones that haunt. What to do, how to want? The ringing in my ears, the tightness through my spine, The pain so overwhelming, it's all I can do not to whine.   My head sinks into itself. The blackness sets in. How to get away.....   Losing it, losing it, where is my control? Morals groping into blackness, what happened to my soul?   Wake up, wake up, wake up....   Stop screaming in my ear about all those woes, I have plenty. Stop assuming I can take it, my strength always tested. Stop fighting with me over what I should be doing, I think I know my heart.   Or do I? Do I? What happened to my heart?   In a great world of transformation, I fall into what is me. But is it me?