To Those Who Hurt Me

To those who hurt me:

I’d like to know

why

it’s so much easier to break glass that’s been shattered before.

The cracks are like dotted lines, shouting,

“Cut here!”

I’d like to know

when

it was that you decided I wasn’t quite bright enough,

as if you know anything about light.

I’d like to know

how

it felt to watch me crumble –

or did you turn so quickly

you didn’t even see me

fall?

Did you plan?

Did you pause?

Did you know?

Do you know?

Either way,

I’d like you to know

that when you left, I let you go,

not because I’m weak,

but because I’m strong.

I’d like you to know

that when you come back

(They always come back)

I’ll open my arms and whisper

Welcome home,

not because you left me unscathed,

but because you returned to me in pain.

I’d like you to know

that when you are aching and can’t sleep,

I will give up my night’s rest

and take on your fear

so that you can dream,

not because I am brave,

but because you are not.

I’d like you to know

I forgive you.

I will always forgive you.

Each time you leave,

each time you return –

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

Not because you want it,

but because you need it.

Not because you have ever forgiven me,

but because you have never forgiven me.

The damaged are the selfless ones;

A broken heart has so many more pieces to give away.