The Thought of Reality

I have always been in love with love.

Maybe it was just the thought of someone,

someone loving me the way I am.

My mistake was not knowing love can be twisted.

A simple “I love you” meant that I had to forgive

everything that he did to me. 

He did not mean it because he loved me..

Right?

It took a while for me to realize not all “love” is true.

The thought of him loving me was too sweet to let go,

so I let him slip up over and over again. 

Because who would ever love and care for me?

Reality hit when I was back to one hundred and five pounds.

I had to hit complete rock bottom to realize how toxic my life had become.

I was smaller mentally and physically.

Making my brain stay in one place and not wonder off,

because if it did I would get hurt.

Two years go by, 

I am finally eighteen.

Putting myself in this mini cluster box wasn’t so fun anymore.

Seeing everyone happy made me jealous.

Why am I stuck with this man who makes me miserable?

And I finally realize,

he is a boy,

not a man.

In this moment of hating myself and my life, 

I finally decided to change.

Eighteen years old and finally taking the reins.

I broke out of that mini box,

and never went back.

The power I hold as a woman is incredible,

and it took me this long to realize it.

My glow-up is using my voice,

my voice to empower women.

We do not stay in situations that make us unhappy.

Finding someone else is not as hard as you think.

I can confidently say that there is someone that will 

treat you right.

But first,

the best glow-up you can have is loving yourself.

And that’s exactly what I am finally doing. 

The thought of my reality no longer scares me. 

I refuse to ever go back to that mini box.