Thoughts

I have a bad habit of waiting for people 

who will never come.

I have a problem thinking I’m too smart.

I have a problem thinking I’m too dumb.

When I drive these roads I see your ghost.

When the pink sun shines,

It hurts the most.

I envy those who get to coast,

The ones who don’t live as a host.

You wouldn’t think that what you miss

Would be all the goodbyes.

I need to give you freedom

But I can’t cut the ties 

Looking in the mirror stings

I see you in my eyes

I do not know which is higher

Me or my IQ

All I know is now I cannot say hello to you.

I think of the weight I carry

And how you carry two.

I used to sit in rows of rose 

But now I’m daisies, blue. 

At one time I feared nothing,

Now nothing’s all I do.

And you take the pills like clockwork 

But it doesn’t go away

You beg and wish and wonder

You panic and you pray

Until you realize 

It doesn’t matter what you say

The ones you trust betray you

You lay flattened on the ground

And when you scream for help

Somehow, no one is around

The good ones never live

And the bad ones never die

Dreams are the only time machines 

And hope’s the biggest lie