Thoughts

It’s getting more and more difficult not talking to you every day

I know there are reasons why you can’t talk to me

And I respect that

Just, I wish I could at least see you once more

This is probably the most difficult thing I have had to go through and probably the worst so far

I’ve got many wars to battle

But this is the start of them

If only I knew where you were

If only I knew you were okay

I need reassurance that you are

Please?

I’m starting to forget you

Your laugh

Your smile

Your everything

You’re everything to me

I don’t want to forget you

I tremble thinking of you and seeing your beautiful face again

It makes me weep not knowing if you’re okay or not

You were there one day and the next you were gone

You told me “our paths will cross again”

I didn’t realize this was your goodbye

I wish I had

I just hope your right

And hope soon this comes true

It makes me sad to think of all the good times we had

Though they were brief, they were great

I’m glad you came into my life

But also crushed that you had to leave so soon

I’m starting to give up on you

BUT I DON’T WANT TO

When you left I met someone new

But I refuse to commit to them because I have 1% hope you’ll come back as soon as I do

You told me “I would never want or do anything to hurt you”

Well leaving hurt me

You called me a doofus

Now whenever I hear that, I can’t help but feel heartbroken

Now, I’ll never hear you say it again

I shouldn’t miss you this much

It pains me to say this but I really truly love you

And I don’t think I should

You said you liked me for me

I have never had anyone say that to me before

You were the first and THAT is what truly made me fall

This could go on forever

I don’t think I will be able to rest until I see you again and gain closure

I need help but I can’t tell just anyone

If I told the people I wanted to, they would think I’m crazy and I would need help.

Mental help

But I can’t help falling for someone who is nearly twice my age

It is not my fault you are who you are and I just happen to like you for it

I can’t get you out of my mind

It shouldn’t be this way, but it is

I shouldn’t miss you this much

I miss just seeing you and being able to talk to you for hours

Rereading all of this makes my heart pound

It means that this is all from the heart and cannot be taken back

I shiver as I write these last words

I shake as I pause to think and even try to grasp what I’m feelings

I just fear that I’ll never see you again

I just fear that I’ll never talk to you again either