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Thoughts to Make up the Tears of my Daily Life

by Zanies

These are the thoughts of my daily life Something that I consider a normality "Normal" for me is "horrible" to the average person I'm not an idle person I let myself work till I'm to tired to continue Then, I tell myself "you didn't do enough" With this I refuse to let myself sleep I force myself into a state that is reserved You might think it's disturbing You might find this place too dark This is my comfort I wait for the tragedy of comfort me Then I beg for the negativity to leave Then I break mentally After that I think to myself, in this order: "I just want relief" "I deserve this pain" "I wonder how drowning feels" "Why do I run for life and work to survive if I will just die?" "I find the bad in every good thing." "What's wrong with me." "When will my stress end?" "God gave me this, I deserve it." "What did I do wrong?" "I have to get up." "I need to be better," "I'm perfect as is." "I'll never be good enough." "Why do I cry so much?" "The only thing I'm addicted to is suffering." "The world's not gonna stop for me. No one will." "I only have myself." "I'm running from myself." "I need change." "I'm scared of change." ~ Then I cry myself to sleep and dream of death I have nightmares of happiness I'm looking for something I'll never find I give love and don't get any in return I'm easily replaced Breathing doesn't mean I'm alive Save me I'm drowning in my own thoughts And I will still smile in front of you I will smile as my thoughts pierce my heart As I shatter and break And I'll laugh I'll make jokes I'll live My shattered heart, broken mind, burned soul, extreme pride, and dead thoughts We work together like a puppet master My body is my puppet Even if I cry... This hallow shell of bacteria, blood, and flesh will appear perfect....
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dark' 'creepy' 'twisted' anxiety

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Comments (1)

Therealityofbeinghuman
<p>Powerful and relatable&nbsp;</p><p><span style="background-color: rgb(249, 244, 127); color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">I wait for the tragedy of comfort me</span></p><p><span style="background-color: rgb(249, 244, 127); color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">Then I beg for the negativity to leave</span></p><p><glasp class="highlighter--highlighted" highlightid="ex5zxfevdrdmv654" style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: rgb(249, 244, 127) !important; font-style: inherit !important; font-weight: inherit !important; line-height: inherit !important;">Then I break mentally</glasp></p><p><glasp class="highlighter--highlighted" highlightid="ex5zxfevdrdmv654" style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; background-color: rgb(249, 244, 127) !important; font-style: inherit !important; font-weight: inherit !important; line-height: inherit !important;"></glasp><br style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">After that I think to myself, in this order:</span></p><p><br style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="color: rgb(37, 37, 37); font-family: ITCFranklinGothicStd-Book, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">&quot;I just want relief&quot;</span></p>

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