A Thousand Tears

I take a breath as the first tear falls
This, the one that started them all
They continue to fall, then turn to rain
Now I dream I'm in your arms once again
I've cried before, but never enough
I've hidden my pain, to prove I was tough
But the hurt built up and finally burst
and now I fear I'm at my worst
I should've cried then, when the time was right
Instead I cry now, too tired to fight
I cry for my past, filled with abuse
I cry for believing I had no use
I cry for each blow, each blow of each day
I cry for a God to whom each night I prayed
I cry for the times my "God" let me down
I cry for each day I held back my frown
I cry for myself, at nine years old
hearing things I should never have been told
I cry for the girl I was forced to hide
The girl who was scared and wounded inside
I cry for my heart, endlessly broken
I cry for words that were left unspoken
I cry for the happiness I gained, then lost
I cry for the man whose feelings I forgot
I cry for my mother, who refuses to listen
I cry for my parents' complete lack of vision
I cry for my love, steadfast and true
I cry, for my heart still belongs to you
I cry for the man whose love I crave
I cry for the days I had to be brave
I've been strong long enough, I want to let go
I want to stay in your arms and let our love show
I've cried enough, I hope it's done
I hope this battle I have won
I shed a tear for each pain I've felt,
for each terrible card in the hand I was dealt
A thousand tears for a thousand pains
Now all have been shed and no longer it rains