Three Words

Three words; Three simple words comprised Of eight letters and three syllables That free fall from our lips Spilling from them Without a care about when Or if we will hit a safety net Because when you’re absolutely Sure about something, The repercussions don’t matter. There is, however, A repercussion for everything. Whether it be good or bad, Right or wrong, Helpful or hurtful. While no one has the power to predict How something is going to turn out There is nothing worse than being The first one who knows how it all ends. Though I swear that I meant everything I’d ever told you, I still see that vindictive look in your eyes Screaming at me, “Liar!” And I know that this is my fault, But I was never given the chance to explain. Would you even care? Would my words patch up the holes that I can see forming In your shattered façade, or would they simply Rip down the walls altogether, allowing the whole world to see what I’d done. Would the sickness that I’ve been fighting And the logorrhea spewing from deep down Inside of me make you take a second look At the situation, make you believe that What I am doing is for you and that I don’t mean any harm by it. I just couldn’t take being the caretaker over the lover; The one who you turn to for everything That gets nothing in return. Instead I’ll bottle it up, I’ll take a step back and say, “I know that this is my fault” I didn’t make it easy for you, But tell me, is it ever? How could you possibly understand how this affects me When I have to be the one to call all of the shots? I have the difficult part in this To speak the words that neither of us want to hear, To continue on with life in a way we aren’t used to. To hold myself back from the goodbye kiss And stop our hands from falling together When they slide by each other. Once again I’ll apologize for things I shouldn’t and say “I know that this is my fault” I never asked you to do it on your own. I never told you to be an adult. I never gave you the option to be on your own. Was it my job? No. But I still did it and gave you false hope. For that I am sorry and again I’ll say I know that this is my fault. I watched as you sat and struck A match with every word Threatening to destroy everything Once you got too close- I. I helped you to gather the materials; The firewood mixed in with Old notes and memories Stacked miles high, Each pile a different chapter in this Fairy tale turned horror story- Love. Worst of all, I handed you the ultimate weapon, Trust, the gasoline that would Send all of it up in flames At the flick of a wrist, Just so you could watch your world crumble down- You. For so long I’d blamed myself, Taking full responsibility for it all Just as I’d always done. But on that day when I watched As the once happy memories began melting away Catching fire and blackening into nothingness, I realized it. As I watched the flames burning bright it occurred to me That this is not my fault. I know that this is not my fault. So I turned and walked away from the wreckage; Passed the reminiscent memories, Passed all of the sights and the sounds. And as I moved forward I passed the crowd; The curious onlookers who always flock Toward the brightness of someone else’s misery. As I made my way by the spectators I could hear their faded murmurs as they spoke. I just smiled and turned away, Continuing on a new path untainted By the pressure of others. And though the sky-high flames are now miles away, Barely a speck in my sight, I can still hear the murmurs of the people as they ask, “Whose fault is this?”