Through the Roof

It can take many years before I get to  realize what it is that I truly want.

Right now there's a strong storm outside and maybe it's the weather,

but sometimes the weather is the map to our feelings

and right now theres an indoor storm swirling within me.

The enormous powerful dark clouds full of rage and uncontrollable sensitivity.

It's going to start washing away the polluted earth and no matter how clean we'll think it is,

it'll stay the same.

My thoughts will stay the same.

The loud nights spent with friends seem to deceive us from the truth.

It is the plain old silence who becomes our true friend.

The sad friend who is willing to wrap its thick hoarse arms and hands around us at any time of the year,

even when we dont want them near. 

They come around.

It opens the thoughts of how lonely were meant to be for the rest of whats left.

And even though the wind will keep blowing, there will be times of forgiveness we wont want to accept.

Forgiveness for what we've done.

Forgiveness for all that I've done.

Forgiveness for all that I will keep doing.

Recycling these complicated actions that haunt and stare, catch my eye and forget me.

I am consumed inevitably with the idea of love, hope, happiness, and melancholy.

Its not the world who has made me, I have made myself but the world has pushed it away,

and when it finally accepts my concept and train of thought,

it molds it and misunderstands all that I am trying so hard to build up. 

Therefore I collapse it is then, that I collapse.

No matter what storm tries to wash me away and wipe me clean,

I know I'll stay the same.

Even with the molding and the shiny objects expensive or inexpensive,

I will go to where I am suppose to go with none of them.

It can take decades before I find myself, maybe I never will.

But the storm is coming.

And its coming slow and easy.