Throughout Her Life

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Let me tell you a little story about a small town girl with many dreams

Dreams so wide, dreams so high that sometimes she believed she couldn’t reach

Throughout her life she wanted and wished for someone to hold her hand,

To guide her through and help her understand

That in the future, when trials would come, she would see beyond the lies that life isn’t always fun

Throughout her life she wondered why fate could be so cruel

The two on the path that broke in half left her in a pool

A pool of tears, a pool of grief, dragging her under and forcing her to see

That things aren’t always meant to be

As she grew and learned the truth about all the lies of happy fools on the television set, she turned out to be different than the rest

She turned out to be stricken with a bubbling sense of fear, a heart-stopping shot of adrenaline throughout her body, making her burst into tears

She turned out to be filled with shadows

Shadows that ate her from the inside out, forcing her to scream and shout

She turned out to be a frail little girl afraid of the big ole’ world, clawing at her mind, tears down her cheeks, making her grind her teeth in agony

The dreams she had never seemed to diminish, though, even as she began to

And she wondered why she couldn’t be normal but instead had to endure this torment

The only solace she ever found were the words that she scribbled out onto paper, the words with a sound of calm and peace; a sound so full of relief.

When she writes she feels a wave

A wave running through her bones

Not the waves that tear you down and leave on the shore

No. The waves that caress your soul and softly leaving you wanting more

When she writes she feels at home, a place where she belongs. A place where only she can be and no one can take away. A place where she feels safe at last and doesn’t have to be afraid.

Throughout these past couple of years she believed she couldn’t overcome anything

She thought she was weak, she thought she was insane

Until a voice told her she was very brave

She is brave because she has gone through many things, so many tears have escaped and left her feeling numb, left her feeling worn, and left her feeling torn

But she reminded herself that she’s not alone, that those demons won’t ever win again

Throughout her life she wondered why everything she held onto disappeared 

And now that she’s old enough to understand, she knows it’s the Lord that says “I am always here.”

Even though she isn’t perfect, even though she’s different

This little small town girl with many dreams

Finally believes she’s worth it

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