On Thursday
On Thursday I turn 21.
And it's weird because I remember turning 17 and graduating High School
and starting college - and when I tried out for the dance team and the MDT
company - that was roughly 5 years ago. And I remember all of those things
as if they were yesterday.
I don't remember specific thoughts, ideas, or things that were going on at
the time;
movies that were playing in the theater or
what was for dinner that night were important then and aren't important
now. But I really remember the feelings I felt because
I feel the same feelings now.
Next Tuesday I will be seeing a therapist for the very first time. Someone
is going to sit there
and listen to me talk
about myself for about an hour
and is going to try to figure out
if there is something wrong with my brain.
For the first time since my birth, I am asking myself
"Am I okay?"
"Is this okay?"
"Will I be okay?"
I don't think I've lost faith in what I believe in but I think
that I finally have the faith to act on what I believe in.
On Thursday I turn 21. Next Tuesday I will be seeing a therapist for
the very first time. Go me.