On Thursday

On Thursday I turn 21.

And it's weird because I remember turning 17 and graduating High School

and starting college - and when I tried out for the dance team and the MDT 

company - that was roughly 5 years ago. And I remember all of those things

as if they were yesterday.

I don't remember specific thoughts, ideas, or things that were going on at 

the time;

movies that were playing in the theater or

what was for dinner that night were important then and aren't important 

now. But I really remember the feelings I felt because 

I feel the same feelings now.

Next Tuesday I will be seeing a therapist for the very first time. Someone 

is going to sit there

and listen to me talk

about myself for about an hour

and is going to try to figure out

if there is something wrong with my brain.

For the first time since my birth, I am asking myself

"Am I okay?"

"Is this okay?" 

"Will I be okay?"

I don't think I've lost faith in what I believe in but I think 

that I finally have the faith to act on what I believe in.

On Thursday I turn 21. Next Tuesday I will be seeing a therapist for 

the very first time. Go me.