Tick

tick

They could ask me if I knew you

and I wouldnt answer

I dont remember much of the time we spent together

but ive seen smiles

frozen into glossy white frames

and ive heard videos of laughter trapped in pixels

tick

I walked into your trailer following my mothers footsteps

but not mimicking her sobs

yellow and red streaks across the carpet

across the walls

across the beds

how could condiments

that belong on my hotdog from the fair

end up on your things

that I didnt know

that I didnt want to know.

soda bottles filled the bathtub

windows were smashed

glass between my feet

a breeze that I wasnt suppose to feel

trash covered the ground

the furnance was ripped out of the floor

and thrown on your bed

maybe they thought that your blue hands

needed some heat

or maybe

they didnt think at all.

Everything worth value was gone

and pawned at the local shop

they even took your soul

which they forget would cost the most

tick

my mom told me to give you a kiss

for the last time

while tears slid down her face

so I did

and it really was the last time

I was seven in 2003

and flowers to me were pretty

even if they surrounded your grave

and gunshots were scary

even if they were in honor

tick

eveyrthings taken she said

as she walked out the door

avoiding miles of trash almost as long as her sigh

but see

she didnt look hard enough

because in the corner behind the cracked picture frame

that said number one grandfather

was a toy clock that shined like a magenta gem

in the darkest cave

I snatched it

and stuck it in my pocket as

I followed my mothers footsteps

not mimikcing her sigh

tick

they asked me again if I knew you

and I said not well

as I reached into my purse

and rubbed my fingers along

the shiny plastic of a magenta toy clock

wait

I told them

actually

we ran out of time

tick