The ticking bomb

... As soon as you start to develop feelings for someone you become a ticking time bomb of emotions... while for some they keep them bottled up inside and do a good job of hiding the fact that they... have feelings... while others let it all out when they need to... while others they push these feelings aside and try to convince themselves they aren't there... and the more they try the stronger these feelings become or develop... when some people... me reach those final seconds they know they have reached them... they know they will end up crying there eyes out until morning dawns on them then its time to bottle them up for another day... put on there mask... and walk into the day... this bomb of feelings not everyone has.. when you do have one you know you do... its always with you through every emotional thing that happens... weather it be happy or sad.. these emotional things make the time tick bye faster... until the day you explode... I know what happens when you reach that point... you want to just be with someone but at the same time you dont... with heart break you so badly long for the person that is causing you this pain you just want them so badly... but thinking about them just makes it worse... the emotions pour out of you and once it starts... you cant stop it... the more you think of wanting longing to be with this person makes it all pour out.. it makes me think of all the times they are with this other person how they are always together... but then those other emotions kick in they try to remind you of the good times (if there was any) then you think... "that stuff will never happen again"... and you just get worse... the bombs job is done and you are left in only a shell of what you previously were... and once it's done it's done it's time to put on your mask and walk into the day it's time to walk and keep it down it's time to hide the fact you're red it's time to hide the fact you're puffing up it's time to go on with your life oh hey you look really pretty today oh thanks on the inside you're thinking oh why are you looking at me I look horrible my hair is just a mess my face is bright red isn't it oh my eyes are all puffy aren't they then you're just standing there they walk past you, you look at them they look at you they keep walking and you just stand there when you're just standing there and they pass you it's like everything stops and you can just feel your heart beating and then you can feel the bomb ticking you can... you know that tonight that is the reason you will be crying and yet you dreed it and you just wanted it be over with 9:03 it's time to stop take off the mask and let it all out the bomb is going and exploding at the moment you were crying the moment you can stop 10:03 take a deep breath and breathe now you have a couple seconds to breath the bomb is ready to keep going and once it keeps going you really can't stop it even if you get a breath it's really hard to keep on going when you keep going it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse until it's done 12 it's almost time you will try to get to sleep but it doesn't really help no matter what you do you keep crying and you keep feeling it 12:03 oh okay I guess it's time to try and go to bed okay but it's not done and knows you should keep going until its job is done... its job won't be done for a long time you see for the reason you dreed is right there and yet you don't do anything and you just let it go on and on forever and yet it doesn't though so the only time this doesn't work is when you don't know the reason and that's when you will break the most yet you try to find the reason out because you know that reason will just make it worse but yet you need to know the cause of this pain when you figure out the reason it will cause the bomb to make you worse once the bomb and your feelings have passed once this person you think is out of your life at last you can take a breath and just breathe for a second for once... the seconds done it's time for you to pick up the pieces and start up again when you're broken your broken but not always you'll have to pick up the pieces again and glue them back together you'll have a couple days possibly or maybe just a minute until you get a new bomb and its job will be within it the more and more you pick up yourself and try to put together the pieces of your puzzle you realize you lose little tiny pieces of yourself along the way you have scars and lumps and bruises and something here that oozes but yet you just want it to pass and when you get feelings for another person you just want to stop it until you get that one special person that won't break you at last... just know if someone does there might be somebody out there who will help you pick up the pieces of what you once were and help you put yourself back together and they will be the reason your okay with the bomb for once... because you know this time it isn't a bomb for its a timer keeping track of the time you are with this person and you are okay once again and you feel happy and can breath for once there is no bomb or no time forcing you to go faster... for the bombs job is done once in for all and that shell you once where is now completely gone