Through binoculars

I watch waves of emotion smash against the beach:

Relentless tides against the sand.

I watch, removed, from my paddleboat on the ocean.

I’m the only one out here.

I assure myself its peacefully silent, free and relaxing, open but lonely.

A heavy wave hits the beach and

Something drops from the pit of my stomach.

I lift my sunglasses to watch it drop through the crystal clear water.

It’s easily swallowed up, and a piece of my soul goes with it.

It plummets quickly, growing heavier the deeper it goes.

The long travel to the bottom smoothes its rough edges, softens its texture, so that it rests easily with the stones I’ve dropped before.

I lift my gaze from where it dropped.

Blink. Sniff. Sniff. Blink.

I drop my sunglasses back on my face to hide my no longer glistening eyes.

I turn my eyes back to the relentless tides.