Tied me down

So the world spun multiple layers until I fell

I was caught up in the whirlwind of all the words spoken

tasted the sun and kissed the moon

I turned away and colored blue

I didn't know what to do..

stuck the thought occured.

Finally moments later after a blinking eye

the abuse of the trauma of words on my skin

they bled down into my hands and the tears pierece my eyes.

I held myself in that lonely field. 

I cried myself to sleep.

I felt so broke,

I wondered where it changed 

where the harsh words slapped my skin 

from undoing the twine that he twisted on my skin

he gifted my hands with blue silk that swung around

he whispered in my ears

my eyes would glow and feel at peace

together we connected on levels of the unseen

together we knew.

together we loved.

separated and lonely

it brought us apart.

I wondered where it all changed.

I wondered where I went wrong

where his hands went misplaced

where he jumped so early

where he became verbally abusive

where he tore me down until I broke

I broke in that field

as I looked up the stars around me gathered my heart and held me

I felt as if I was floating in a lake of tears and pain

those word haunting my soul

You are not strong...

together 

together

that was us.

together.

we learned together.

why did it change.

what allowed it to change

what made the difference.

why did it hurt so bad.

why did I break so easily.

why did I not understand.

why am I continuing to break.

why am I believing in false things.

Why did he ask me, what would you do if you weren't able to marry me.

not good.

I'm never good enough

those books filled with poems.

those flowers that escaped

those smiles that I made in my broken self

those pictures I would paint. 

where did it all turn.

how did I lose myself in everything. 

why am I not me anymore? 

What happened?

where did everything go?

I am so lucky to be me and come back to my senses.

broken and bruised, but now I'm healing.

the longest poem in history.

longer for the changes occuring.

healing from above.

shouting screams of happiness.

I am away.

I am me. 

I love myself.

I am me. 

I can paint on canvases the words of love to me.

I can scream in canyons that are filled with daisies

I can swim in the lake at 1 am as I think of the poems on my back.

I'm drinking words that heal.

I'm traveling to my self.

I'm coming back

I'm so tired of being lost.

I'm ready to be found again. 

And my love I think I just created the poem that healed myself.  This one was for you because you are strong and you are loved. 

Know that I support you and car for you in everything that you do.  You are beautiful

You are kind. 

You are caring.

You are loving. 

And darling I am falling more in love with you because I realized that I am coming home.

I am coming home to myself.

I had lost you but now I'm back.

Peace be with us as we heal and grow.

Those flowers on my arms heal and kiss me goodnight. My love you are strong. You are so strong.

This poem is about healing yourself.  It is about finding yourself again, even if you've been gone for a while or have been treated 

disrespectfully.

My love. 

You are so strong.  

I love you.

You are so strong.

My God.

I am so glad you made it out of this.

You made it.

You made it.

You fuckin made it. 

You survived all that abuse, those nasty words, skin that became blue from depression, eyes that were red with anxiety.

My love you survived so much. 

You are so strong.

You are so strong.

I cannot tell you that enough.

I am so in love with you.

I type faster, hoping my words mean more.

I want you to know that you are stong.

I love you and hope that one day when we check in again you will be okay.

(this is a poem to myself.)

-art