Dear Self,

 

Time travel is real

I know what you're thinking

she is crazy

but it is definitely real

it's hard to find though

everyone's time travel is different

mine is in the grass

not just any grass

but peaceful grass

somewhere where the grass whispers to the wind

and that is the only noise

when I find that place I lay there in the grass

and close my eyes

that is when it begins

smell always comes first

I smell the clay that I put on my teachers lamp sizzling

then comes touch

I can reach out and feel the honeysuckles between my fingers

then comes sight

all of their wonderful faces

each of them

my family

not my mom or my dad

or my brother or sister

but my class

back then they looked a little funnier

but so did I

missing teeth, missing shoes

funny haircuts, funny clothes

this is why I time travel

to find those days

the perfect ones

not days that any big specific event happened

but the ones with my best friends at my side as we play

in the grass

I open my eyes and I'm back

back to a different world

one where each of those goofy looking kids

has a plan

not everyone has a specific plan

some have a plan to live from day to day

but it is still a plan

I close my eyes

I smell the cake and punch

I feel the sticky frosting on my mouth

I open my eyes

we are passing around funny looking valentines

we all are smiling with frosting covered faces

then the kid with the goofy blonde bowl cut speaks up

"I'm going to be a policeman."

He looked so very proud with that goofy grin

I open my eyes

Now that boy with the bowl cut has normal hair

but he still has that proud goofy grin

and he doesn't plan to be a policeman anymore

but a mechanical engineer

it's crazy how much we all change and grow

I close my eyes

I smell the bus

not one of my favorite smells

I can feel the bumpy dirt roads throwing our bus around

I open my eyes

I see her smiling

and we are singing

screaming our lungs out

the only child I knew who got moved on the bus for singing too loud

she turned to me catching her breath

"I want to be singer, but I can't sing, so maybe I'll be a baker."

We laughed

I open my eyes

I breath with the laugh still on the end of my breath

that girl has changed her hair color more times than I can count

but she always pulled it off

She doesn't sing as loud in public anymore

but in the car I'm sure it is just as loud

if not louder

She doesn't want to be a singer or a baker anymore

but a cosmetologist

I know she'll be good at it

I close my eyes

I smell freshly cut grass

I feel the grass under my hands and my knees

then when I open my eyes I'm shocked for a moment

a little freckled face girl is smiling at me

but her smile is green

then I realize we are playing like we are horses nibbling on the grass around us

we neigh and stamp at the ground and she looks at me

"Since I can't be a horse I want to play with them always"

we smile and continue our lunch

I open my eyes

I lay there laughing at the image of the girls green teeth

she doesn't eat grass anymore

at least that I know of

but she still has her freckles and she still wants to play with horses always

only she want to get paid to help them

as an Equine Therapist

she's always stuck to one thing and does that one thing the best

I know she will continue to do so

I close my eyes

this time is different

we aren't so little

we aren't so naive

we all are making plans

all trying to make money

trying to choose a future

I open my eyes

that wasn't so long ago

we are those poeple I saw there

grown

my family

I wouldn't change the past for anything

I wouldn't change them for anything

because these are the people

the people I want in my life

forever

I know when we all leave

I will miss them

but I can always find them

in the grass

the peaceful grass

when I close my eyes

 

Love,

Your Memories