To A

I have seen the anguish forever growing in your subconcious. 

In your soul. 

But you who has suffered so greatly, 

Will find happiness. Will find satisfaction. 

In love. 

For the weight that you carry, 

Is not anger. Or hate. 

Though it may appear so. 

It is love. 

Under that massive burden of anguish, 

Hides love. 

It has long lingered there, silently. 

William B Yeats once said, "Resist much, Obey Little". 

And, I believe, that this was the motto in which you lived your life. 

For in truth, 

you were ignorant; living your life in anguish. 

Leading an angry, ignorant life for so many years. 

Also, in truth, I believe, you were scared. 

For your life, as well as the world's life, is round. 

Stuck on an endless whell of life and death, in which you bared witness to. 

Until you ruptured the pattern and broke that wheel. 

You broke that pattern because you believed, as Lucien Carr onced believed, 

that it was your duty to break the law. 

And so you did. 

I can recollect hundreads of glorious nights spent with you; 

Where we held our pwn endless pattern. 

Two bodies, 

Two sould, 

Coming together as one. 

Hands, touching burning flesh, 

Skin trembling in the darkness. 

Your soul shone so brightly. 

Your smile, radiating my life. 

When you love something, 

it becomes a part of who you are forever. 

If you try to rid of it, 

It will only circle back and return to you. 

Or, it will destroy every atom of your being. 

But now, you, my dearest love, are back on that never-ending wheel

of life and death. 

Except this time, you no longer jsut bear witness to it; 

You are a part of it.