Today life of me

Uh, yeah. Looking at my life, maybe is just a waist time. Should have been gone. But, through the smiles that I put on others, does it really matter? Feels like a batter ready to swing but no one is there to support. Like if he doesn't matter. Looking at the mirror see it all shatter. Shit, I wish I can resolve my problem so easily by taking it away believe me I thought about it. Through the smiles and laughs I put on for others really works. But deep inside, there is this sad, angry beast that wants to do work on me and destroy the person I have become. Fuck, I feel so dumb, and becoming numb from my true self. I'm yelling for help cuz I'm drowning in my own tears, and the fears that eat me, just leave me don't save me. Go like the others and ill let you be. But that ain't the key see. Cuz I should disappear from this earth. And never been in birth. All this contradiction is making me unsure of myself. But with faith in my hand, and the Holy Spirit from God stand. I can, from my soul that demands. I will uprise from this depression. And in the end, I will have succession.