Toilet Bowls don't Hug Back

Don't romanticize this and say some boy or girl will pick you up off the floor and hold you in his arms and wipe your tears away and kissing you anyways. This is the gruesome reality of always smelling like puke. It never goes away. You will get it on your clothes you will get it in your hair it will be everywhere possible. Want toilet water splashed into your face? Then Oh boy you'll love this. How abut bleeding knuckles and scratched up throats from your nails and teeth. Giant puffy cheeks because you throw up so often your glands stay swollen. Running to Purge in dirty public bathrooms because you found out your waitress gave you regular coke instead of diet.

You will have to deal with the stares when you start disapearing after meals. Your mind will go crazy you will feel like a prisoner, fuck you are a prisoner. You will never feel more alone in your life and the sound of your gagging will be the only remembrance of that day. As that is all you will do. Hug people not toilet bowls.How about not even being able to eat a couple carrots without throwing up because that is what this will come to. It won't come to daintiness and frailness and to be light as a feather. It will come to scars and poison and a burden on your mind heavier than anything imaginable. Soon you won't know how to digest food. It will come right back up. This will destroy your life. Crying on the floor gasping for air as you can hardly catch your breath and tasting the food that was once in your stomach. But now is not.This is the gruesome reality. Don't you dare call it a lifestyle.//k.s

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741