Tolerating Existence

I am trapped in a bubble 
Where all I can feel is pain
And the more that I cry
The harder it rains
Every time I try to run 
It comes back twice as fast
And no one sees me fall to the floor
Everyone just kicks past
All my memories keep rushing in
Making it impossible to forget
The pain I was in
And you cant fix my problems
Cuz I cant forgive them
And you cant look past the things Ive done
Because I have been forgiven
Trembling I reach for words 
I can not find
Words that define these feelings I hide
My anxiety intesifies at any
Given moment it seems
But please dont interfere with me
I dont want you to catch the disease
Dont cry for me cuz Im the one who recieves the pain
And until my mind is put at ease 
I bleed and dont complain
I reach out for help but you
Dont understand my cry
And no matter where I go
Parinoia always resides
But one day Ill be happy and satisfied
One day Ill go a week
Without a tear in my eye