Tom Cox, Local Weatherman

There are heavy rainstorms coming says Tom Cox, Local Weatherman

He too is a weatherman but unlike Dave Curren, he does not have any fans

He is a retired naturist, who also moonlights as a historian and associate at Home Depot

When it comes to horticulture, Tom Cox, Local Weatherman is also in the know

He hates the current meterologists, while at the same time pining for his mentors of the past

I never heard of any of these guys and quite frankly I am too disinterested to ask

He takes pictures of the local deer as he takes a stroll through the park

Maybe a big black bear with maul his ass if walks out into the woods too far

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, he is an expert on wildlife and that goes for the coyotes too

Sometimes I wish he would get infected with rabies by some very large raccoons

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, bragging about the flower bed he created at the local foodstore

When it comes to patting himself on the back, nobody in town does it more

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, he is also an expert on the lakes, rivers and streams

He knows every type of fish in the pond and he will tell you until you want to scream

He will tell you about the turtles, the frogs and even the tadpoles too

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, I hope a few geese fly over and shit all over you

When it comes to sandstorms, Tom Cox, Local Weatherman is also an expert

Even though he lives three thousand miles away from the Las Vegas desert

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman is also an expert on the wind gusts

But most of that hot air is coming from his mouth because he never shuts up

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, he thinks he's the smartest person in the room

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, he is just a local loudmouth, a know it all buffoon

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, giving us all of this useless information like it matters

Tom Cox, Local Weatherman, he is an old fossil, who really needs to be put out to pasture

From Dying On The Inside
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