Too Much Or Not Good Enough?

Too Much Or Not Good Enough

(Mixed)

When My Hispanic Friends Make Fun Of Me

They Call Me : Too White, Call Me Gringo, Call Me Not Spanish Enough

And When Look To My Mother 

She Tells Me That I Am Indeed The Whitest Latino She’s Ever Known

I Laugh, A Pained Laugh And Tell Her 

That It’s Not My Fault She Married A Ginger, An Irish Man, Whose Skin Was White As Snow

When I Talk To My White Friends 

They Say : I’m Too Spanish, Say My Packed Lunch Of Empanadas Tastes Foreign, Say I’m Not White Enough 

And When I Look To My Father

He Tells Me That's Just The Way It Is ; That Ridicule Is Bound To Happen

I Smile, A Smile Through Grit Teeth

And Silently Blame My Mother For Ever Coming To America

(Non-Binary)

When I’m With My Girl Friends  

They Call Me : Too Boyish, They Call Me Confused, They Call Me Not Girl Enough

And When I Look To My Guy Friends

They Tell Me Not To Care So Much, “I’m Acting Like A Chick”

I Shut Up, I Shut Up And I Bite My Tongue

And Silently Wish They Were More Sensitive

When I Talk To My Guy Friends

They Call Me : Too Girly, They Call Me Faggot, They Call Me Not Boy Enough

And When I Look To My Girl Friends

They Tell Me That It’s Inevitable, That Boys Will Be Boys

I Will Sit, I Will Sit Quietly

And Pray For Gender Equality

(Manic)

When I Am Happy

They Call Me : Hyper Active, They Call Me Out Of Control, They Call Me Not Relaxed Enough

And When I Look To My Medication

They Tell Me That They’re Working, That This Is Just A Side Effect

I’ll Bounce, Bounce Off The Walls

And Let Medication Take Its Course

When I’m Sad

They Call Me : Too Relaxed, They Call Me Depressed, They Call Me Not Active Enough

And When I Look To My World

They Tell Me I’m Too Much, Simultaneously Not Enough

I’ll Cry, A Bereaved Cry 

And Figure Out How To Be Enough For Myself