Top Ten Tips On How To Look Thinner!

May 2, 2019

Don’t be fat. Like all the condescending drunk girls at the parties told you, it’s very easy, though “you are pretty enough for a fat girl”. As capitalistic ten second ad in front of a youtube video will never fail to whisper to you: “It’s easier to look skinny if you are skinny”.
Wear dark colors. Purple, navy, black – aim to look like your shadow. Aim to look like the thickest of nights. Aim to become your own shadow. Aim to look like your always mourning your own existence.
Avoid horizontal straps! Luckily for you, it’s not that common of a pattern in today’s fashion. Avoid bright colors. Avoid big prints on your abdomen. Avoid being noticed. Avoid being seen.
Try not to show too much of the skin on your hands and thighs. They support your body and they brought you through this life. It’s fair to be ashamed of them.
Use concealer to make your cheeks look thinner! “Concealer” comes from the word “conceal”, you get it. It’s like what all the guys did when they asked you not to tell any of their friends they slept with you.
Seriously though, lose weight.
Pretend, like this is what you always wanted.
Try diet pills! They are not as expensive and definitely easier to obtain than change of expectations for people’s bodies in this toxic society.
Always remember that “ugly” and “fat” aren’t the same thing. You could be both!
And lose some weight.

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