Tormented

I am drowning under the surface,

feeing unsafe within my own skin.

The burden of regret plagues my thoughts,

leaves me breathless

Gasping, gasping for air.

I choke on the fantasy of what we could be,

dying slowly in agony with each passing memory

Wishing, oh God wishing,

that you could just see,

See everything that we could be.

I am drowning under the surface,

the air slowly leaving me.

Constricting my heart

with the ever present sense of fear

leaving me weakened, vulnerable,wounded

I stare at the memories etched within my eye

and each memory punctures my wounded soul

Stinging me a thousand times

Never relentless

I am drowning under the surface,

my strength slowly seeping away

losing myself of who I am and who I could ever be.

Tormented by my own rememberances,

I calmly let them consume me,

taking away my gasps for air.

To far off places of happiness and love,

I travel.

Away from the pain and sorrow,

I seek this happiness and joy,

Knowing that they do not exist.

So I drown beneath the surface,

escaping to a place that would never exist

in the world that I would only ever live in.