Torn

it’s the lies

the certain demise

when I tell her five pounds more

and she congratulates me

torn

I’m torn on where to go

was I born to live or show

the world may never know

I ate my first full meal in weeks last night.

And it took all the willpower in the world

Not to go and throw it up

And I still cried myself to sleep

And it’s the saddest thing

When you cry and your face is dry

Like your body must just not care

As you keep gasping for air

It’s not fair.