Tour Through Self

Thoughts tangled in Charlotte's Web. Mixed emotions broken down like a bag carefully rolled up and smoked away. Trying desperately to escape, running in circles, and only chasing my tail. Playing hide and seek with my destiny. Chasing a painted image of a life not created for me. Killing myself slowly trying to fill a void with immeasurable entities. Looking for myself in a room full of copy cats. Sinking in a ship with no leak, in an ocean with no water, in dire need to find land to feel comfortable, when I was purposely placed in the ship to go through a state of discomfort. Lack of ambition terrified of success. Accustomed to failure but determined to prove the statistics inaccurate. Looking forward but facing backwards. Ready to conquer the world but yet unable to find myself in this maze of right and wrong turns. Lounging on cloud nine with dirt still in my mouth from my last encounter with rock bottom. Hearing my calling for something better but listening to my present packaged tape recording telling me I'll never amount to anything more than what I dreamed of when I was sleep walking and heard myself say no but experienced the opposite. Fighting for my life in a battlefield of desire to not feel. Attempts to erase the chalkboard filled with an intricate diagram of my life events that are only drafted and written for movies and TV.