toxicity

i lie awake at night
staring at the ceiling
asking myself
just what exactly is this feeling?

i'm stupefied, i'm clueless
this isn't something completely new
but i'd never actually imagined
i'd be feeling this way for you

back and forth go thoughts of you
on my mind's tennis court
a welcome intrusion
into my mind's fort

but i need to not need you
push you miles away
cause i'm toxic and i might
just end up hurting you okay?

i know you like me
trust me it's mututal
but for me, hurting others
has become a kinda ritual

and i'm not lying when i say
you're too precious to harm
and right now my subconcious
is raising an alarm

i know you'll feel bad
it's okay you'll get over me
it's better than watching
the tears i don't want to see

¯\_(ツ)_/¯