Tranquility

March 27, 2013

Gliding in air along with the birds The feeling was there, however, no words Peaceful was the day, the light was so bright The clouds were transparent and I was the sky It’s so quiet up here, no one insight And then in a blink of an eye, a bird takes flight The wings spread like the ocean in Moses And the freedom was just the same, but no would know this It’s a secret not shared with many I know But it’s time to part and just let go Why float in mid-air? Can’t no more So as time descends, so does the weather The air feels fresh and people together Spirits bonded below and up above the feathers, they go Who knows, don’t be afraid, just remember you know

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Comments (3)

QVJul 24, 2013

<p>I know that it can be easy, if not convenient, to say "feeling" or "peaceful" and proceed with a description of a tranquil day, but I think your poem can become much more effective in voicing tranquility. I like for example: "the clouds were transparent" and "the light was bright", but I think you can magnify the beauty of the day even more with perhaps use of metaphors (just a suggestion of course). Lastly I want to comment on the line "Spirits bonded below and up above the feather.." (my personal favorite), you did something here that I feel was greatly effective, for without using the word "bird" or "angel" you gave a comparison between flight and spirits (or you were looking for a rhyme with weather, and that would be a different story). Q.V.</p>

ReinanenaMar 27, 2013

Got to start somewhere and stick to it...at least that's the advice a good friend expressed to me ;)

MVP-Most Valuable PoetMar 27, 2013

there is nothing like having peace in your heart as you expressed clearly in this poem having tranquility changes many perceptions on how you view life in the beginning