Trapped

It's been a while

Since I decided to write a poem, 

To get all of the things I'm feeling

Out in a safe, normal fashion.

Some things have gotten better as time has gone on, 

Some are exactly the same as they were 7 years ago,

I still deal with the same dark thoughts

But I guess everyone deals with them as well.

I feel trapped, 

Trapped with my body, my mind

I want to break free of the confines of my mind

And escape somewhere where I won't be afraid

I want to be completely free. 

It's like drowning

But my thoughts are the water

Everything is blurry

And I am sinking further,

Losing all sight of the people around me

Everything is jumbled 

Nothing matters.

I'm falling again

I don't know how to stop it this time,

I know I need to reach out

To stop these thoughts that I pile up in my mind

But how can I do that

After all this time of pretending? 

How can I say I'm weak again without feeling shame

From my family and my friends? 

They will feel so disappointed.

Everything is spinning

It's going to fast

I can't catch up

I want to be free

To escape.

But instead, I sit alone,

Where no one can find me

And battle with this continuous, unending burden

That I am trapped.